seeyah!

Just in case Scribd messes it up, the last line is supposed to be the last two words in the piece. Enjoy!

Update: Well Scribd did mess it up, but is okay nao. I can breathe.

(Non-sequitur: Wika nga ni Lourd of RASP, hindi ako makahinga magsuntukan tayo.)

Update: And another revisefest. Enjoy!

Update Aug 27: new versions posted:

Upon Hearing…

Local Colour

Random Statements

Laguna Copperplate—Namwaran—Prospective land reclamation in Laguna de Bai might unearth more artifacts—Calatagan Pot Inscriptions—April 21—It’d be fun to have Social Studies textbooks begin with the discovery of the Laguna Copperplate—Foreground certain new awarenesses & over the long term improve the nation’s aggregate self-esteem

Ernesto Cardenal—Thomas Merton—Nicaragua—Similar histories! But theirs is better—Solentiname Islands in Lake Nicaragua—Marjorie Evasco’s title poem in Dreamweavers—Ochre Tones—Long out of print—anyone got a copy?

1/f fluctuation—human life’s normal pace—movies have been steadily approaching 1/f fluctuations, which explains the more naturalistic look of contemporary films, tv shows, mtv etc.

Susana Baca—Maria Lando—the song uses Anadyplosis—Anamorphosis—Peru—Putomayo!—once upon a time not too long ago when I was a counter-boy—Maria solo trabaja, solo trabaja, solo trabaja—Here’s another song

Picture of Allan Ginsberg, Peter Orlovsky and a birdy

The Amen Beat

Toba

Ursula Dudziak of Poland—Papaya Song—Elizabeth Frasier—Viragos

Borborygmus, words such as

Jorie Graham and symptoms such as vascular constriction

Theodor Adorno: Lyric Poetry and Society—where can I read this?

Monty Python—finale of Life of Bryan—open graves! Disturbing—In light of recent local events, disturbing resonances

Basics of Chaos Theory—Lorentz Attractor—periodic, state-state and waterwheel graphs—butterfly effect—fractals almost, but not quite, repeat themselves—this is brought to you by the numbers 1.6 and 4.669

CIP—Centro Internacional de la Papa

Ani Lorak—Shady Lady

Undin. UNDIN!!! (Undine)

Aja Aja Bara Aja—I am convinced of my need to watch this film to tie up some loose threads, if you will, in a certain poem-in-progress—Good luck with that—there’s a scene where the goody-goody counterpart of the film’s lead is asked by her Buddhist mother superior to deeply dwell on a question regarding a certain sagely man’s beard as depicted in a scroll-ink painting—and the question is?

Sous Rature—Derrida’s Trace—Différance—deferred and differing—because surely what the world needs is more wordplay—foreplay

Transcendental Numbers—sounds like a nice name for a book

Em dashes en dashes and hyphens—they all look the same in this theme—must change—Update: 3 dashes in html mode does the trick

—Teka, isip pa ako ng iba.

in search of poetics

Just finished Ann Lauderbach’s The Night Sky. All Hail. Thank you N. Hrr Hrr. I’m reading it as a vindication/affirmation of what I was trying to do with the poems I wrote/ drafted so far this year. I read it very slowly, half a chapter a night, which is a first. I might be treating it too preciously. I need to go back. I absorb very slowly, which makes it a miracle that I dare write stuff at all.

I wasn’t reading her when I wrote that thing to which I haven’t gone back, not daring to feel hopelessness about ever making it float, given ever-widening webs of factoids hardly pieced together and rapidly approaching the inevitable zone / state also known as news spin oblivion and we have so much to do now, do we. Content of all sorts pushing their way in, insisting they are essential, they hold the linchpins to the piece. Hang out and dry in what sort of light. Where and how to let them in?

The central pieces do feel familiar. I can’t remember when.

What is your poetics? The fatal question posed to me last summer. The things I wrote and endeavored to write since, do they constitute an answer? Can I have more than one? Like poetics was a camera’s filter lens. Install, choose the one that fits the subject best. Dalawang ilog. Nagpatianod. Gumulong-gulong sa batuhang sapa. Walang pasa, walang sugat, bagay na ibabatay sa nasipat. Alin, alin, alin ang yaong naiba?

cave life

Bad cellphone signal hereabouts. Sorry if your messages don’t get through. God knows how I want to be an upper floor dweller again. We shall see, in 3 years :S

encountered // looped on YT

lcd soundsystem

new young pony club (glammer than mia. the prono ‘tache seals it for me)

the ting-tings

liza minelli (took me the first half of 2010 to appreciate her outside AD. Again I miss my third grade English and homeroom teacher, who danced to “Cabaret”during our Christmas party. I haven’t seen so much leg ever since)

(i’ve been dancey, i guess)

(i’ve been trying to blot out the horror in satc2)

placebo, fatboy slim, sounds from that time

nina simone’s set at the harlem woodstock (spirit of ’69, hear)

bjork’s jazzy phase (misty? the wonders never cease)

boaz mauda @ eurovision 2008

paul oskar @ eurovision 1997 (the video’s divine)

my favorite eurovision countries: israel and iceland

matt monroe’s walk away? that was udo jürgen’s warum nur, warum eurovision 1964

francoise hardy’s message personnel

(sometimes i like to get weepy just for the kicks)

camille velasco’s until you come back to me (also, basia’s and aretha’s)

elis regina’s set in ensaio (brasil!)

Sayang na Sayang by Manilyn Reynes – when the world was young and open fields long have I gazed on an open field times were bad so they say like I was there nope I too young to know it was a pretty good time to miss they call her Star of the New Decade Star of the New Decade Star of the New Decade makes me want to go back to a time Jollibee celebrates 100 stores in Metro Manila and I ache to take home that poster with the little jollibees in it how wonderful so many i like maps most of all and counting the trips flanked with hills that’s what the side of the road looked like lots of times this is the color green and a fastfood restaurant’s playland set on a hill that was strange haven’t seen it since oooh now I remember why mindless fascination with things on the road why I lived for road trips and sunsets on the road and the eating when I grow up I want (to be) a trucker like what do roadies do I wonder what it feels like when they call you Star of the New Decade and I feel so where did all that time go this makes me laugh juxtaposition of generous ample clad from head to toe in yardage and mind synthetics were very in and I can feel it! so special that time only the best for showbiz shoulders and showbiz busts and the caps and the shimmers and leggings and this decade’s office lingo tenement districts shiny unit on the cusp of condo towers mckinley william makati lofts east ave meets shaw meets soho boni bonifacio high street high rise heritage urdaneta victorina pershing all dead all-in extrusive medium low cost housing garden city rock wood well pacific heights flood free mega residence plaza south west north east tropical delight fashion so eton so tony so dormy mabuhay walkby walkthru displays and people it’s still the 80’s here |in this space| I want to be eleven right this moment I want to crawl back to that grassy field right now | balik kampung lah | umarika |new york, too easy | lucky to not be right by the tracks | no trucks pass by night | fly out soon | I can’t go on

There’s the quarter life for you. Getting in touch in the inner toddler.

Seriously, I want to go back to that song’s sound, with the chimes and feel-good synth. It feels so modern.

This where I grin silly.

Dayang-dayang, the popular version and a sample of the real thing. I think the song gets a shout-out in a foreword or endnote in Wendell Capili’s A Madness Of Birds. The song also makes me think of summer of ‘97, Alabang Public Market. Glad to know it’s not Indonesian or Sabahan. Someone might go say it’s not mine. Fuck you. I’ll say it’s ours.

My sincerest belief is that inculcating an inclusive mindset is the only way to go. Breathe it in. It might end up ventilating the body politics’ lungs (Healthy!).

Words Get In The Way by Gloria Estefan, probably the tightest pop song structure ever.

(just felt like saying it)

Olivia Newton-John and Jane Lynch’s song number on Glee (I shall watch the show only when the hoopla’s died down, that’s the KJ way) makes me feel—the word is hot, yes?—the lesbo hotness.

Joel Toledo

Nagtataka ako ngayon kung bakit ang lahat ay nahuhumaling
sa kalungkutan. Palagay ko, kailangan nating lahat ang gayong
sahi ng pagkapukaw, wari nitong pagkamingaw ko
para sa samu’t saring duag ng dapithapon, ang munting
litik sa aking dingding, ang mga tambalang kabulungan
ang isa’t isa habang nasa mga upuan ng mga pasyalan.

Nagpatugtog ako ng awitin at ang berso nito’y sadyang
lumalamon sa aking dibdib at kay-sidhi ng dalamhati
kailangan ko humakbang palayo, matandang kabataan,
patungo sa pinakamaaga kong alaala: karagatan, ang mga bato nito,
ang bughaw na sulong ng umahong daluyong. Palagay ko
kahalili nito ang pagdamay, ang abo’t tanaw

na nagdidiin kung gaano katayog ang mga bagay-bagay, at
lagi’t lagi ang yaong malawak na kalawakan ng, ewan, kung ano man,
kawalan. Kalungkutan ng pag-iisa marahil. Minsan, ang ingay
ng lungsod ay kumakanulo sa ninanais kong masabi.
Yaong mga muffler at kung ano man yaong hinuhugong
ng mga simaron na makinang dumaraan

sa hulog ng Tula ukol sa ano na nga ba ang pinaka-akmang
salita? Hindi ko na ito halos marinig ngayon,
yaong salita, nagkukubli sa kanyang sariling lilim
na inanas ng isang nagbugtong-hininga,
nagpaparaya na magpatihulog ang mga dahon sa kanilang karaniwan
at payapang paraan, patungo sa kanilang yano

at matiwasay na lagay. At magigising tayo
sa marilág na gusot at gulo na kinahinatnan
ng ating pamumuhay — niyaong matimtimang pagsisinop,
niyaong paghangad sa banyuhay, niyaong grabedad
para kusutin ang aking mga mata, bumangon, at sadyang
bumigay.

-I like the video. But the sound. Ummm…Kinky! K*NKY!

The point is to see through
the dying,

who pinch non-existent
objects from the air

sequentially,

to this season’s
laying on of
withered leaves?

2

A moment is everything

one person

(see below)

takes in simultaneously

though some

or much of what

a creature feels

may not reach

conscious awareness

and only a small part

(or none) of this

will be carried forward

to the next instant.

3

Any one
not seconded

burns up in rage.

—Rae Armantrout

from here

Joel Toledo

Nagtataka ako ngayon kung bakit ang lahat ay nahuhumaling
sa kalungkutan. Palagay ko kailangan nating lahat ang gayong
sahi ng pagkapukaw, wari nitong pagkamingaw ko
para sa samu’t saring duag ng dapithapon, ang munting
litik sa aking dingding, ang mga tambalang nagbubulungan
sa isa’t isa habang naroroon sa mga bangko ng mga pasyalan.

Nagpatugtog ako ng awitin at ang berso nito’y sadyang
lumalamon sa aking dibdib at kay-sidhi ng dalamhati
kailangan ko humakbang palayo, matandang kabataan,
patungo sa pinakamaaga kong alaala: karagatan, ang mga bato nito,
ang bughaw na sulong ng umahong daluyong. Palagay ko
kahalili nito ang pagdamay, ang abo’t tanaw

na nagdidiin kung gaano katayog ang mga bagay-bagay, at
lagi’t lagi ang yaong malawak na kalawakan ng, ewan, kung ano man,
kawalan. Kalungkutan ng pag-iisa marahil. Minsan, ang ingay
ng lungsod ay kumakanulo sa ninanais kong masabi.
Yaong mga muffler at kung ano man yaong hinuhugong
ng mga simaron na makinang dumaraan

sa hulog ng Tula ukol sa ano na nga ba ang pinaka-akmang
salita? Halos hindi ko na ito marinig ngayon,
yaong salita, nagkukubli sa kanyang sariling lilim
na inanas ng isang nagbugtong-hininga,
nagpaparaya na magpatihulog ang mga dahon sa kanilang karaniwan
at payapang paraan, patungo sa kanilang yano

at matiwasay na lagay. At magigising tayo
sa marilág na gusot at gulo na kinahinatnan
ng ating pamumuhay — niyaong matimtimang pagsisinop,
niyaong paghangad sa banyuhay, niyaong grabedad
para kusutin ang aking mga mata, bumangon, at sadyang
bumigay.

mula rito.

update: duag pala, hindi dagway. my bad.
update: last stanza, line 5: para (na)